Turnip Boy Robs a Bank review

What’s in a name? Well when it comes to video games, a whole lot actually. There are loads of video game names that are so generic that I forget them entirely when looking for something to play, but others are so weird it’s hard to know if you should take them seriously. Who could’ve predicted that a game called Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion would be successful enough to find a cult following and spawn a sequel, but that’s exactly what happened. I wasn’t about to miss out on another great vegetable-based game, and I’m glad I didn’t skip Turnip Boy Robs a Bank.

After the events of the first game (which apparently involved killing a god, go figure) Turnip Boy is looking to make some cash. With the help of a team that includes a mafia gherkin and robotic radish, the ultimate bank heist is planned at the Botanical Bank. Well it turns out landing a big enough score to set you up for life isn’t that easy, and it’ll take a lot of robberies to find the elusive motherload that’s hidden somewhere in this mysterious financial fortress.

The loop of Turnip Boy Robs a Bank is pretty simple. You have three minutes to grab as much loot as possible from the bank before the cops arrive, so the aim of each run is to fill your swag bag as fast as you can while blasting at the fuzz. Any money you make can be spent on upgrades that’ll make your next heist easier, so grab that paper.

The security guard enemies in the bank come in all shapes and sizes, but Turnip Boy is packing plenty of heat to use on them. The combat is that standard twin stick shooting action we all know and love, with a handy dodge roll you can use to make it past any incoming bullets or through security lasers. I generally enjoyed using melee weapons more than the guns, but there are loads of options either way whether you want to slap fools with a fish or use a staff to shoot magical orbs of death.

Between robberies there are loads of ways to spend your hard earned dosh, which will help you regardless of your playstyle. You can boost various damage types, raise your max health, or even make it more likely for enemies to drop cool new weapons to use. You also need money to buy new heist equipment from the Dark Web, like C4 to crack open safes or a lantern for the darker areas of the bank. Money doesn’t just make the world go around, it’s also absolutely crucial in Turnip Boy Robs a Bank.

Each time you go off into the Botanical Bank is essentially a miniature Roguelite run, with an emphasis on the “lite”. The main structure of the bank is pretty much the same every time you arrive, but there are elevators that take you to randomly selected areas when you ride in them. Sometimes you’ll end up in an office complex with safes to crack and lasers to dodge, other times you’ll ride up to a mushroom cult who reward you based on how many cops you’ve blown into smithereens. It’s a nice way to keep the game feeling somewhat fresh, although I’d have maybe liked a bit more randomness, personally.

As well as all the looting, there are also loads of side quests to distract you in Turnip Boy Robs a Bank. Different fruit and veg based characters have requests for you that usually involve finding a specific other character, and for completing these you’re rewarded with a variety of cool hats to wear. There’s no real incentive to complete these otherwise, but if you want to look cool while grabbing stray bags of cash then they’re a nice addition.

Out of everything Turnip Boy Robs a Bank has to offer though, it is the outlandish charm and humour that really makes me smile. The characters you meet are just so weird, and the missions they give you even more so. Early on I was tasked with delivering a portrait to an influencer so the starving star fruit artist could finally afford to eat and pay their rent, but on delivery was handed a big pile of “Exposure Bucks”. Turnip Boy is undeniably a silly game, but it’s also damn proud of that.

The biggest issue I had during my time with Turnip Boy Robs a Bank was the overall lack of variety. The bank barely changing between runs just makes the loop of gathering bags of cash and valuable relics feel a little repetitive, especially when you factor in a fairly small pool of enemies and starting weapons too. The short runtime of the game means it isn’t too much of a deal-breaker, but I’d have liked this Roguelite to feel a little more random.

Turnip Boy Robs a Bank is a delightful twin stick Roguelite packed full of charm. The loop of gathering cash and upgrading your character is really satisfying, and although it’s a little lacking in variety, the sheer silliness of the game makes up for it. I wasn’t really expecting much when I booted up Turnip Boy, but this game pulled off the perfect heist on my heart.