Mia and the Dragon Princess review

I’m always happy to play the latest FMV game from the genre experts at Wales Interactive, but generally they fall into one of a few categories. There are the mystery games with puzzles to solve and often a paranormal twist, dating games with wacky characters to fall in love with, and no matter what plenty of campy over the top acting to check out. I haven’t played a whole lot of action FMV games though, so I was delighted with the buddy action adventure of Mia and the Dragon Princess.

After being thawed out of a block of ice found on an old ship, an Indonesian pirate finds herself in modern day London with no idea why she’s here and no way to communicate with the locals. What she does know is that there are some real bad dudes after her, and after causing a ruckus at a buffet trying to fill her belly the police aren’t her biggest fans either. Fortunately for this pirate of the past she has a run in with a kind young barmaid called Mia, who soon gets to work trying to help her out.

Mia works at a pirate themed bar known as The Smuggler’s Den, which isn’t exactly the classiest establishment. After being coerced into unclogging the massive turd in the toilet, she finds a certain pirate hidden among the bins out back. Because she’s a caring individual (and because I refuse to help the police even in a video game) Mia hides her in the bar, feeds her, and eventually tries to learn more about her despite the language issues. It doesn’t take long for the duo to become close, and as long as you make the right decisions they may even end up changing each other’s lives for the better.

There’s only one aspect of the game you have any control over, and that’s when you’re choosing between two options of what Mia will do next. Mia and the Dragon Princess has plenty of branching narrative paths to explore, with all sorts of antics to uncover. Whether you’re deciding whether to be polite or snarky to a co-worker or figuring out how to confront a thug with a weapon, your actions will have serious consequences.

More often than not the situation at The Smuggler’s Den means that violence is just around the corner, which means you’ll be treated to one of the fantastic fight scenes that this FMV treat has to offer. I was blown away by how well put together these action packed sequences were, with a mix of impressive combat feats and silly moments that reminded me of some of my favourite Jackie Chan family comedies. It’s just not something you see very often in the FMV genre, and is a serious breath of fresh air.

One of my favourite aspects of Mia and the Dragon Princess is how willing it is to kill off characters. I was fairly successful in my first playthrough and didn’t realise quite how brutal the game is willing to be with all your favourite characters, but my second run was an absolute bloodbath.

These characters are a joyous mix of campy humans, from the barman who mixes cocktails with semen based names to the tour guide who is paid by the owner of The Smuggler’s Den to exaggerate the historical significance of the establishment. The performances are as ridiculous as you’d expect from an FMV game like this, and with a script that includes phrases like “bruised banana ballsack” and “fire escapes are for fannies” it’s a perfect fit.

By checking out certain scenes, you’ll unlock parts of an audio tour that’s narrated by the tour guide from the game. This is accessed from the main menu; it’s a nice and thematic bonus, and means you can find out a little more about some of the mysteries you’ll uncover on your journey.

There’s not a whole lot of negative aspects to talk about in Mia and the Dragon Princess. The game is very short (with a single playthrough taking around 30-40 minutes) and the basic multiple choices mean it isn’t a particularly involving experience. Just don’t expect to be playing this game for long or to have to use your brain a whole lot.

Mia and the Dragon Princess is a wonderful FMV action adventure, with ridiculous characters, exciting fight scenes and genuinely funny writing. It isn’t the longest of games and doesn’t have particularly engaging gameplay, but for a fun frolic into the world of FMV games you could do a hell of a lot worse than spending an evening with Mia and her mysterious buddy.