Critter Cafe review

Cosy gaming is all the rage nowadays, and what’s more cosy than running a cafe in the countryside? Okay, admittedly in real life the pressure of bills and staff management probably makes this cosy dream somewhat unrealistic, but in a video game we can skip over that and focus on passing out pastries and hot chocolate to charming locals. Critter Cafe is an easy-going cafe running adventure, with a sprinkling of adorable creatures that make it extra cute.

The premise of Critter Cafe is simple. Your character has escaped the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and has been hired to take over the local cafe and make it thrive. Before this kicks off though you need to create your character, and with a variety of adorable options to choose from you can make the colourful avatar of your dreams. After that you’ll need to renovate the cafe, with plenty of unlockable bits and bobs to choose from.

I spent a lot of time getting the vibe right in my cafe, choosing the right pink colour scheme of wallpaper and flooring. You also need to lay out tables, chairs and toys for your critters, although admittedly this is more for vibe reasons than practical ones. As long as you have chairs for people to sit on, your cafe will function fine, and you’ll be able to bring them all the treats they require.

Serving customers is what you’ll spend the bulk of your time doing in Critter Cafe, which involves completing a few simple mini games. Pouring coffee to the fill line and picking the right cakes is simple enough, but there’s also a mini rhythm game that for some reason equates to making latte art. It’s all very straightforward stuff, but is compelling enough in a mindless sort of way.

In most games where you manage a business it’s because there’s money to earn, but not in Critter Cafe. Instead all furnishings and fittings are free, and all you earn for serving up the customers is experience. As you level up you’ll earn all sorts of new exciting chairs and floor patterns (which I must admit I rarely added as I liked my design enough already) as well as unlocking rifts outside of the cafe.

Rifts are where you’ll find new Critters for your cafe, trapped in little dungeons which contain a puzzle or two. If you like pushing boxes onto switches then you’re in luck, as that’s the majority of what you do in the rifts. As you progress further into the game you’ll gain new equipment to use in the rifts like a hammer to smash crystals and a boomerang to hit switches, but regardless it’s never much of a challenge to make your way to your new cute friend.

When you first get a Critter it’ll need some TLC before coming to work in the cafe. This just involves petting, washing, and throwing a toy for it in your sanctuary though, then it’ll be ready to earn its keep. At the cafe I was expecting my new pets to help out in some way, but outside of occasionally giving you a small passive buff all they really do is get under your feet and stop you from serving efficiently. It’s a real missed opportunity, and can get pretty annoying.

You are able to use your critters in other helpful ways though, like throwing parties for people. This is just another way to earn experience, but by providing the favourite colour, theme, and cute cuddly friend for your customers they’ll have a great time celebrating at your humble business. It’s not exactly hard to ensure all the requirements are met, but I guess that at least means you can maximise your experience with ease.

The gameplay loop of Critter Cafe isn’t exactly high octane, but it’s enjoyable enough as a background activity. What the game really lacks though is much charm outside the visuals, with no characters you can really interact with or no real story to follow along. The world is pretty enough outside of the cafe, but there’s rarely a reason to explore it outside of a couple of new furniture options hidden down dead ends. It’s all just a bit lifeless, which isn’t exactly what I was hoping for in a game all about good vibes and cute creatures.

Critter Cafe is a fine enough cosy game, but it lacks the hooks and charm to really recommend it over its peers. I enjoyed serving up delicious food and drinks at the cafe well enough, but it never felt like there was much of a reason to push on with the grind. There are worse ways to spend an evening after a tough day of real life, but Critter Cafe is just a bit too lifeless to be worth playing through to the end.