My friend thinks Assassin’s Creed and GTA are related
The other day, my mate (Dave Tunnard, @LazyDaveyT) sent me a text message saying he had a theory I would be interested in. He went on to say that he thinks the Assassin’s Creed series is a prequel to the Grand Theft Auto series. Now as you would probably expect, I told him he was a idiot and that would never be the case, but he’s a persistent lad and tried to explain this crazy theory to me. In a attempt to get him to shut up, I told him I would listen to his points if he wrote a 1000 word report on his theory and honestly expected to hear nothing more of it. The next day he sent me the following… work. Please note: I called the file “bollocks assassin’s creed review.pdf”.
It started with an apple, but I’m fairly sure that it will end with a glock.
Last night I watched the Assassin’s Creed Syndicate trailer and was very impressed with one scene in particular: the part where a man steals a horse and cart. This left me thinking, now that we have seen the first horse and cart jacking how long until the first horse and cart drive by, in which the assailant slowly straddles up to a pretentious Victorian hipster café and opens fire with his musket and then gallops off into the sunset? Of course, I’m fairly sure this would be a very hard manoeuvre to pull off, considering the reload speed of a musket, around 3 hours if I’m not mistaken, accuracy would need to be high. Maybe horse and cart jacking a shire horse would be your best bet, as they are renowned for steadiness when firing from the hip. I mean, as we all know, shire horses were commonly used by the Irish in WW2 for that very same reason. The Irish love a good drive by.
Anyway, enough with that factual history crap. I have a theory. Now you’re going to have to bear with me on this as the theory I’m about to disclose has more twists and turns/peaks and valleys than Gordon Ramsey’s face.
The theory is that the entire Assassin’s Creed series has just been a prequel to Red Dead Redemption, and that Red Dead Redemption is yet another prequel to the Grand Theft Auto series.
Now I know what you’re thinking; “Dave, I’ve been saying this for years! I wish I had your confidence, Dave. I’ve never been able to tell anyone that this is what I’ve been thinking”. Don’t worry, I’m going to list the clues that will confirm your suspicions.
Clue 1:
You only have to look as far as Assassin’s Creed Unity to notice the first, and quite frankly, most obvious clue, and it’s in the name of one of the characters. That’s right! Bellec is the first clue in this list. Now at first I was sceptical, but then it became clear that if you say this name a few times, and with the right ‘twang’ it kind of, sort of sounds like ‘Bellic’, the name of the lovable Russian from Grand Theft Auto IV.
This is a clear indication, in my opinion that the two development companies have been toying with their audiences and giving each other the virtual ‘nod’ as if to say ‘Yes, we are working together on something that will blow your mind, but we don’t want to give it away just yet’. Do they think I’m stupid or something? It only took a mere three hours out of my job to research up on this and another two and a half hours writing up my findings, I am not an idiot guys. This one was obvious.
Clue Verdict: Blatantly obvious that my theory is right.
Clue 2:
There are horse and carts in both… That’s right: BOTH Assassin’s Creed Syndicate AND Red Dead Redemption.
Clue Verdict: Blatantly obvious that my theory is right.
Clue 3:
How many times have you been walking around on a rooftop in Assassin’s Creed and suddenly been told to get down? No, I’m not talking about dancing; I’m talking about physically getting off the rooftop before a man kills you. It is clear that they do not want you up there. The same can be said for Grand Theft Auto, where it is nearly impossible (unless you have a helicopter) to gain access to a roof. Not only does this strengthen the already solid link I have between the games, it also reveals a much darker truth that they hate both;
- Their roofs being dirty by cause of people on them
- People on roofs
Or maybe they’re just really health and safety conscious, in which case, good job guys! Keep spreading the message that a roof IS NOT a playground. I mean I don’t know how I would feel if, all of a sudden a man ran up my house wall and stated having fight up there, but I’d like to think that I’d want to immediately hire a man with a bow and arrow to tell him to get off… No, not like that… Jesus Christ.
Moving on… this correlation of roof hate/safety awareness makes it clear that when the end of the Assassin’s Creed franchise comes, you can smoothly transition yourself to a Rockstar game without suddenly being left scared and confused that you can now be on a rooftop. It will leave you in a comfortable safe zone in which you are in a frame of mind that a roof is a no go.
Clue Verdict: Blatantly obvious that my theory is right.
These clues have hopefully highlighted the correlation between Assassin’s Creed, Red Dead Redemption, and Grand Theft Auto. However, I am little disappointed that the developers went to such little effort to hide these clues from us, as now I feel that when they do eventually drop this ‘surprise’ on us, I will be ready and not be as excited.
There are other clues by the way, like the use of vulgar language. Within minutes of Assassin’s Creed II the word “Vagina” is thrown around like a racist joke at private school dinner party. It is said so many times (a grand total of one time, if my counting is up to scratch) that it basically feels like you’re already playing as Franklin from Grand Theft Auto V. Another minor, but still vital clue is the use of dirt roads. These can be seen in many Assassin’s Creed games as well as Red Dead Redemption… Come on, guys. Do you think I’m blind? You’re going to have to get up pretty early to slip that one by me, I’m afraid.
Overall, I think my minor bit of research, 468 hours in total, has definitely done enough to persuade the most extreme naysayer to my way of thinking.
Final Verdict: Blatantly obvious that my theory is right.
Elsewhere, Dan thinks that Assassin’s Creed may have lost its way as a series. Read on…
