Opinion: Learning to Empathise with One Another

I love games and I love gamers, but let’s be honest. We’re not perfect. For one, we need to learn to empathise.

When I was in high school, I rigorously studied the merits of EVs and IVs in Pokemon.  I watched Firefly. I read Sandman. I watched Hentai, but it was just this one time and I hated it. I swear.

I did these things because I wanted to. I pursued fun, because that’s what the living soul needs.  Surely nobody could judge me for that?

I’m being rhetorical. If there’s one thing people can do, it’s judge others needlessly and aimlessly.

Where I went, it was mandatory that I take gym. I didn’t attend one of those gigantic schools in which “independent study” is an option. I went to one of those small schools where every single person that you know, and grow/learn with watches you perform rigorous displays of physical exertion all while wearing stupid little shorts.

Now, my body would suggest that I don’t sport well, and it would be right. I am rarely inclined to do much in terms of moving about, and indeed, even do as much as I can to circumvent it. My body doesn’t pick up yards or hit home-runs. It writes poems and never shows anyone. Mostly, I’m not ashamed of this. I’m no Tim Tebow, or whatever. I can live with that.

Still, despite my inability on the field, I love sports. Conceptually, gym is a pretty brilliant idea, isn’t it? Break up the day by exercising among your peers in stamina building, well-meaning, goal oriented competitions that increase the general wellness of participants. Ineptitude would be a weird reason to resent something or someone. Sports are intended to be fun and it would be great if experiencing them wasn’t soured by people peopling all over it.

Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

Obviously, when that’s the case, gym isn’t going to be fun. For nerds like us, touching the ball, or bat or whatever the compatible  sporting apparatus is, will be a nerve-racking experience and a fast track to upsetting some ultra competitive and equally chastising High School champion. So I barely played.

Whatever, right?

“It’s just a game” uttered the confused pubescent that was me, taking extra care to assure that nobody actually heard him. “Relax.”

Gym would lead into lunch which would in turn devolve into a philosophical circle jerk with my friends. It was easy to exonerate ourselves as saints, when we were the underdogs. We insisted that, were the tables turned, we would be the shining exemplification of sportsmanship. We would be paragons in our prowess.

But would we?

I once received a sportsmanship awards from a coach. I realise that sportsmanship awards are really only indicative of a coach’s pity, and truly, the thing glared at me from my mother’s mantle, taunting my ineptitude. But retroactively, I’m kind of proud of it. I like to think I deserve it. This loser loses with grace, I promise you that. But do you?

Can I tell you a secret?

Sports are games, games are apparently sports, and we are hypocrites.

And we’re all seemingly angry, too. We’re leaving the media two feasible conclusions:

1. Video Games cause violent tendencies
2. There’s a significant overlap between Gamers and Sociopaths

I don’t like either. Guys, if we’re going to not only get our hobby to be widely understood as both an acceptable past time and a harmless art form, we’re going to have to sell it better. We’re going to need better PR. Aside from the keyboard smashing outbursts (which your gossiping, voter parents can hear, by the way), we’re not even accepting entries into our little boys club, apparently.

The lady in red is a secret FIFA rage-quitter.

Now, I love games. I love them for being art. I love them for being stimulating. I love them for being an escape. A bad day or two stands little chance against an evening getting lost in a game with your favourite craft beer or recreational drug. You know, if that’s your thing. Whether I win or lose doesn’t really matter, in the end. I just want to experience them.

And I want that experience to vary wildly. I have a tiny attention span. I want to sample the full pallet of what our favorite medium has to offer. Multiplayer games can be perfect for that; there are just so many delicious variables.

Realising that most of the variables are stricken out by an oppressive meta-game, we still have the X factors you can always count on: Personality and experience levels. These are what give multiplayer gaming its purpose. We have to be accepting of that.

So, when, say, a writer and his girlfriend try to partake in a game of League of Legends (i.e., the community fueled by rage) be a bit more understanding. Welcome them. Don’t correlate their score with their sexuality. Don’t suggest that their parents are also siblings. Don’t tell them they’re bad and should probably give up playing because, you know what, they might, and gaming just lost another supporter.

And it’s all because you forgot what it was like to be new at something. Remember being the guy afraid to touch the ball in gym, because he didn’t want to ruin anyone’s chance of winning.

I know you guys are, deep down, great people. I’ve been to conventions. I’ve reveled in that brotherhood. PAX has not a bitter soul present. Gamers, in general, are great people.

But on the surface, we suck. On the surface, we succumb to the dark side of anonymity, except we’re not anonymous. We’re only anonymous as individuals, and even then only sort of. As a group, we’re giant, irate children and everyone that isn’t part of our club knows it. The realist in me has this to say: The surface actually kinda matters; the surface is what people see.

So, time for a direct and concise conclusion. We share this world with others. Voters, gossipers, people who will make their voices heard. They’re constantly forming opinions and preaching them to others. Not everyone thinks of games as art, but if we play our cards right, I think we can change that. One day, I’ll be able to refer to myself as a “game-buff” and people may even equate that to an intellectual pursuit, much the way they do with “film buff” or “art snob”.

But first, we have to chill. How can we expect others to respect us if we don’t even respect one another?

Remember: It’s just a game.